Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A Reminder for Today.

Today is a difficult day. 
Today I don't like waiting. 
Today the encouragement I felt at the retreat is waning.
Today I don't want to answer the question "heard any news from your agency?"- because the answer is "no".
Today I'm not sure what to do with myself... because nothing I can "do" will bring Ruth home sooner or make me feel any better...

So, feeling a little sorry for myself, I decided to pull out my journal that I used at the Created for Care retreat.  On the page I opened it too in big bold letters I saw where I had written:

I Am The Mommy That Jesus Loves

I wrote this during a really powerful and empowering session by  Beth Templeton.  Beth is a mommy of 7 children, three that she gave birth to and 4 that joined their family through adoption.  (Beth writes a blog which you can view here if you're interested). 

Back to my story.  Beth's session was entitled "Parenting Forward into our Children's Identity."  She made the case at the beginning of her talk that we are unable to help our children discover and develop their identities if we are not secure in our own identities as mothers

She encouraged us to look at the book of John and to note that the author (John) refers to himself as the "the disciple whom Jesus loves."  His declared identity before the world was primarily a man loved by Jesus.  He defined himself, reminded himself and referred to himself as a man loved dearly by Christ.  Beth went on to say that John was seemingly more aware of Jesus's love for him than he was of his own love for Jesus.

Beth reminded us that our identity is not in what we do-  for example "I am a woman who loves Jesus."  Although it is good to think of ourselves as women that love Christ, it is easy for that to slip into a "works" mentality that says "I am what I do" or  "I am what I feel."  And on a bad day (like today where I'm not feeling very loved) that's not a "truth" I want to cling to!

When our identity is in Christ's love for US we are empowered, unshakable and free- no matter the way that we feel nor what we do or don't do.   

So then, I will remind myself on a difficult day, that I am the Mommy that Jesus Loves!  And since he loves me the truth found in Romans 8:32 is written for me:
 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Today God will give me everything I need to wait patiently, with eager anticipation for the phone call we have been dreaming about.

With love and encouragement,
The Mommy that Jesus Loves


Electra L Hutchison said...

That is fantastically encouraging Maria! In so many ways. I pray your baby comes to you soon, but more so I pray your heart will be put at peace waiting. I can not say I know how you feel, but I can say I love you and feel your pain now. I will be praying for peace and contentment. Enjoying the here and now of today.

Kylie said...

Wonder what was up today? Satan was trying to find a foothold in me for sure. I also had a VERY difficult day today, which led to a really grumpy attitude this morning! And then while I was cleaning my bathroom, of all places, I realized I was humming "Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place." I too thought of the "I am the Mommy that Jesus loves," and knew that even in my rotten mood while I was begrudingly scrubbing my shower tiles and having a pity party because I don't want to be patient, and I don't feel like trusting today . . . the God of the Universe showed up in my bathroom to remind me that He is with me, and that He loves me so much! He can handle my grumpiness and my sadness and even my distrust. I was convicted that I just need to tell Him and give it to Him, maybe even daily! I love you and am still praying boldly for Ruth to come SOON!