I remember with my boys, I thought about what they would look like and what it would be like to finally have them home. I often pictured myself on my back porch smoking a pipe, playing guitar while the boys went crazy playing in the back yard. (Writing that seems a bit weird, but you know, it's a CS Lewis/Stevie Ray/my Dad kinda of thought.) Either way, the point is that I caught myself thinking frequently about being with them. And, it's happening again.
Unless it's my wife, when I see other women, especially of mixed race, I'm thinking of Ruthie - thinking about what she'll look and sound like. Here's a random thought I've had lately: I'm looking forward to being an old man, God willing, and having my daughter in my life. Maria and Ruthie will be the only two left laughing at my jokes when I'm too old to remember how dumb they are. I'm looking forward to Daddy Dates. I'm not gonna let some hipster punk be the first to take her out. Daddy will set the standard of how she is to be loved and cared for. On a similar note, I'm looking forward to buying more guns. I guess I'm going to need them. I'm protective enough of my sons, how much more for my daughter? Answer: .357 Magnum; just sayin'.
Mostly, I just want her here. To bring her up in the instruction of the Lord with the example of Maria is the best scenario I could imagine. They'll be the only two left laughing, and I can't wait.