Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Letter to Ruthie's Birthmother

I'm pretty sure that one of the most difficult things I was asked to do during the homestudy process was to write a letter to Ruthie's birthmom.  For weeks (and weeks!) I stared at a blank computer screen unable even to begin to say what was on my heart. I even had trouble putting to words our family story worrying too much about what was appropriate or would show us in the best light. One night as I tried to write for what felt like the 100th time I just gave up!  I said to Niles, "I have no idea even how to begin and I just want to quit!"  Being the loving and patient man he is he took the laptop from me and began to typeIn a matter of just a few minutes he had simply and concisely started our letter thanking the woman reading it for all the difficult decisions she had so bravely faced. It was perfect!  When Niles read me what he had written I finally realized that I wasn't creating a marketing piece for our family- that this pressure I felt to say everything perfectly, sensitively, eloquently, etc. was not what the Lord (nor the agency!) wanted from us!  What our Father wanted us to share with the young lady that would read our portfolio was the wonders HE had accomplished in our life so far.

In Daniel Chapter 2 it says

It has seemed good to me to show the signs and wonders that the Most High God has done for me.
So that's what we did :).  Please continue to pray with us for Ruthie's birthmom... this is surely one of the most difficult times of her life.  Pray for her heart, for wisdom in her decisions, for her strength and for peace. 

*On a side note- we wrote the letter in my voice to give it a "woman to woman" feel but the content was written by both of us.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for picking up our adoption portfolio. Thank you for being at an adoption agency making some of the toughest decisions you have probably ever made. And thank you for giving your child life. Niles and I would like to tell you a bit about our story, about our family, and what our hopes and prayers are for the child the Lord has called us to adopt.

Niles was born in Rocky Mount, North Carolina and I was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico.  The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, brought us to the same city at just the right moment- when we were high school freshmen.  One year later, Niles asked me to be his girlfriend, and we’ve been together ever since!  We spent the rest of our high school years growing-up together.  After graduation we went to two different colleges and commuted on weekends to see each other.  Those four years of college were difficult as we began our adult lives in different places, but the Lord used that time to grow us closer to Him as individuals. We were engaged the December of our senior year and were married in July, almost 7 years from our first date.  Niles and I have now been married for 7 years and have been together 14 – close to half of our lives!  I would describe Niles as: a faithful follower of Christ, affectionate husband, loving father, hardworking employee and loyal friend.  When I asked him to describe me in a sentence he said: she’s a beautiful woman, who, because of her love for God, loves her husband and children more than they could ever ask.  As time has gone by, we have grown closer to the Lord as husband and wife and continue to fall more in love each year.

We are both fortunate to work in professions that we are passionate about.  For the last 7 years Niles has worked for a major investment management company.  He has had several roles in the company and currently works in the area of High-Net Worth Client Relationship Management.  Niles enjoys being able to use his knowledge of the financial world to help clients meet their financial goals.  This knowledge is also quite helpful in planning for our family financial goals as well!  I am blessed to be a part-time, work from home mom.  During the kids naps in the afternoons I work as our church’s Children’s Ministry Coordinator for students newborn-5th grade.  I enjoy spending time training and empowering the children’s ministry volunteers to share the gospel with the children in their classes.  I also love being with the students as well and I’m pretty sure they teach me something new each week!

The Lord has blessed us with two beautiful boys, Turner and Calvin.  Turner is a sweet, inquisitive preschooler that loves soccer and superheroes.  Calvin is a serious, determined, curious and active 2-year-old.  He loves cars and his snuggly-sheep and is REALLY excited about becoming a big brother soon!

When we are asked “why do you want to adopt” the short answer is always “because God told us to!” But, the answer to such an important question is never that simple. Our heart for adoption began after Calvin was born.  The pregnancy was a difficult one for me, and we were advised to wait to have any more biological children because of my condition. Through prayer and a lot of godly council, we actually decided to “try on” being done with having children. It was during that period that we felt a solid, deep conviction and calling to adopt. Since then, our hearts have grown bigger and bigger for adopting a baby. We believe that adoption is a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. No matter what we’ve done, or where we’re from, He has brought us into his family and adopted us as sons and daughters by faith in Jesus. This is our heart for the child the Lord has called us to adopt.

Our hopes and prayers for this baby are that she, just as our sons, will grow up to love God and love people well.  We want to teach her that her value comes from being a part of God’s beautiful family, and that the Lord delights in her. 
Additionally, many in our church family have a contagious passion for adoption.  18 families in fact have adopted or are in the process of adopting!  We are thankful that the child the Lord brings us will have several friends growing up with a similar background of adoption, and a community around her to support her.

We want to sincerely thank you for taking the time to read this letter and consider our family for your baby.  In the pages of this portfolio you will see pictures of people eager to welcome and care for the baby God will bring us.  Please be assured that if you chose us your baby would be cherished as a part of our family and a part of this incredible community.  We pray that the Lord’s peace be with you as you make your decision.

Much love and gratitude,
Niles, Maria, Turner and Calvin


Vanessa@DesignsBySessa.com said...

Very beautiful! I know the Lord will send you the right child for your famiy! I will be praying for the birth mom and all that entails!

Erin R said...

Maria, I literally got tears in my eyes reading your letter. It is so evident that God is working in you and through you, and I absolutely can't wait for His will to be accomplished and for you to finally hold that precious baby girl in your arms. I'm sure the wait has to be difficult, but just remember that there are lots of prayers going up on your behalf!!

Mary said...

Oh, Maria! This did make me cry. Some little girl is going to be extremely blessed!

Pat and Sherry May said...

Maria, my mind overflows with all the many things I'd love to say to you but I'll try to limit it to this: You and Nick are amazing to even consider adoption. And there is no doubt that this journey will be incredible.
As a birthmother, I can tell you that your letter is wonderful. Her biggest worries during this time is picking the right family and having her sacrifice be acknowledged.
It is wonderful to watch this transformation and to see how God is molding your family in this way. Know this, she may be giving you her child but you are giving her eternal peace of mind. God bless you and your growing family and keep you firmly in His grip.

Maria Ferguson said...

Thank you all, so much for your words of encouragement! It really means the world to me to know that you are all lifting us up in prayer. Thank you and God bless you all!

And Sherry... WOW! What a blessing you have been to my heart! Your vulnerability to share and encourage me blows me away. Thank you so much. I pray the Lord keeps you and your precious family tightly in His grip as well. :)