Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The day I met your birth mother

I never want to forget the details of today.  One day my Ruthie will ask me about the first time I met her birth mother and I want to be able to paint her a picture...

It was a cold and rainy Tuesday.  We were the first to arrive.  We were nervous- big time.  We ordered our drinks, switched seats several times and finally settled on the spot that would be best to have as private a conversation as possible.

After a few minutes we saw her arrive with her father and instantly knew we were seeing "K" for the first time.  They came in, apologized for being a few minutes later than expected and we all said our first time hellos.  I said hello, came around the table and hugged her.   My thoughts were all over the place in that moment- something like this:  "She is so beautiful.... She is so tiny...  Her hair is wet... Her eyes are so beautiful...  She is so young... She smells like sweet shampoo...I think she's nervous... she looks like family..." and that was just the first 5 seconds...

Then all 4 of us, nervous as can be, sat down.  None of us knew for sure where to begin, or how to normalize this most abnormal meeting.  Niles began by telling K and her father that we were willing to share with them anything they would like to know about us...and the conversation slowly began rolling from there.

The specifics of the conversation I won't be able to share here... but I can say that in their words I felt a deep love for K's baby.  Her father tearily and honestly shared the difficulty and grief their family has been experiencing as they have walked this journey- and it broke my heart.  I wished I could say "just the right thing" that would make everything better.  I wished that I could take away the hurt and somehow make this easy for them- but of course I can't.  In adoption there is always pain- and we know that only the Lord can bring healing and restoration.

Niles and I left the coffee shop both excited and heavy-hearted.  We felt that K and her family were confident in their decision to place her baby with our family (K even asked me if I'd like to go to one of her doctor's appointments with her!).  We were  also burdened with the knowledge that their decision, when carried out, will hurt them deeply.

We ask that you would please pray with us for K and her family.  Pray that they will feel the wings of the Lord wrap around them even now.  That He will give them comfort and confirmation in their decision that they need.  Pray that they will experience and believe the truth found in Psalm 34:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

We are grateful for another opportunity to see the Lord move and work. 
Even in the heaviness of the day we are thrilled to be another day closer to bringing our baby girl home!


heather shelton said...

thanks for sharing, i thought about you several times today... I will pray for her and her family for sure!

Kyra said...

Ahhhhh! Love this update and will continue to pray for K as well as the life being knit together in her womb. Trusting our Lord with the details. Doctor visit invite = AWESOME! Bittersweet for sure sweet friend but I KNOW that both K and her father only experienced feelings of deep love and compassion from you two as you soaked up your time together. Jesus was there FOR SURE and He'll continue to walk each of you through this journey...HE WILL BE GLORIFIED!

Todd Lowther said...

When we adopted our girls we learned about an ancient Chinese legend about the Red Thread. The story says that this thread which cannot be torn nor broken invisibly binds those destined to meet regardless of time or circumstance. I wrote a song about it during our travel to bring LiLi home. But your courage in meeting the parents does reveal the great sacrifice being made by the birth parents and family even as you fulfill the work of the Holy Spirit in being drawn together. May the Spirit of God bind this thread and give you the grace to minister to the birth family.

Leah aka Momma O said...

This brings back so many memories of being in her shoes, meeting Kaylee's chosen parents for the first time. You captured it well! It is such a bittersweet, hopeful yet heartbreaking time. I love that you acknowledge how hard it is and will be for her, but you are so right that God can bring so much peace amongst that pain! Praying for her and her family as the time draws closer(and you guys, of course!)